One time I found a used condom outside, and then my little brother tried eating it. He did and said it was salty. I do not have the heart to tell him.

When I was like 9-11 I used to lie about my age on xbox live, and then one time this guy found out and I got so embarrassed that I blocked everyone I knew.

One time my drum major was dragging the percussionists one day.

The Book of Bill

"What if their asshole tightens and they shoot themselves?" - Asinine
"Oh he just steals stuff- he's just jewish." - Asinine
"The only hauling he's gonna be doing is hauling ass" - Squid

Dance Monkey
You're My stump

I ran out of ideas sorry chat